The 68-year-old comedian has been speaking about the impact her fatherâs d3ath had on her when she was just 19 years old in recent interviews, ahead of her latest book, Enough, where she talks about aging, suicide and mortality.
belowDawnâs dad d!ed in 1977 at the age of 45, with the Vicar of Dibley star speaking about his d3ath during an appearance on This Morning on Thursday, May 21.
The comedian spoke about her new book, which explores themes of mortality (Image: Dave Benett/Getty Images)
âBut by âenoughâ, she doesnât mean enough of life, she means, âIâve had a really good life, Iâve had enough of everything, and so this is my time to go because I donât want to give you, my kids, the burden of what itâll be like as Iâm older,â so she thinks of taking her life by the end of that day.â
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She went on to explain how the rest of her book is her familyâs argument to dissuade her, but Dawn set out to make the story something joyful.
Speaking of her own experience, she continued: âI need to make it clear that what happened with my dad who took his own life sadly when I was 19, my dad had terrible depressive interludes in his life, very different to this woman, who is well, mentally well and physically well, which is why itâs so shocking.
âBecause of what happened to my dad, Iâve had a lifetime of processing what happened. When I was 19 I was furious, angry and confused and full of grief, and as Iâve grown older, Iâve tried to understand mentally ill health, which I do understand, then you forgive.
Dawn appeared on Thursdayâs This Morning (Image: ITV)
âAnd also, Iâve really thought, this subject is something we need to talk about and not put all the shame and all that taboo stuff. Back in the day, this was illegal and sinful⊠Iâm the living proof that you can get through something like this and you need to talk about it to understand it.â
She went on to talk about âblameâ being âeverywhere around this subjectâ, and the questions people ask themselves, saying: âBlame is everywhere around this subject, itâs like, âWhat if, why didnât I see, what could we have done?â and my mum lived with a certain amount of that as well.
âBut thatâs why the more we talk about it, and everyoneâs experience and reason is different, my dad was an incredibly engaged dad, a cheerful man, but he had these black dogs, and when they came, he would take to his bed and it was deep and dark, but as kids, we didnât know that.â
Dawn spoke to hosts Ben Shephard and Cat Deeley (Image: ITV)
This comes after Dawn addressed how the topic of suicide had occasionally been something she thought about.
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âIâve faced a lot of my thoughts and fears about it,â she told The Times. Reflecting on her fatherâs d3ath, she continued: âSuicide lives in my brain in a way it might not for somebody who hasnât experienced it so closely.
âAnd as Iâve got older, I want to talk about the big things. I set out to write something Iâm a bit afraid to admit; that getting older is difficult, end of life is difficult, suicide is difficult.â
Acknowledging that thoughts of suicide had occasionally crossed her mind as she aged, she added: âI donât think I would ever make this choice,â while admitting she can understand why some people do.
